New Year Jokes

New Year time is not only meant for partying, celebrations and making resolutions, but also to make it a jovial moment. It's the time to giggle and chuckle with friends and family members, so that the happy memories remain forever. After the ups and downs of the past year, it's the time to laugh and party harder to welcome the New Year. Laughing will not only lift up your mood, but will also release 'feel good' hormones in the body. New Year is round the corner, so let's get happy and celebrate the spirit of New Year with some really funny Happy New Year jokes, as given below.

Funny New Year Jokes

A young man at a New Year's party turns to his friend and asks for a cigarette.
'I thought you made a New Year's resolution to quit smoking,' his friend says.
'I'm in the process of quitting,' the man says.
'Right now, I am in the middle of phase one.'
'What's phase one?'
'I've quit buying.'

On New Year's Eve, Daniel was in no shape to drive, so he sensibly left his van in the car park and walked home. As he was wobbling along, he was stopped by a policeman. 'What are you doing out here at four o'clock in the morning?' asked the police officer.
'I'm on my way to a lecture,' answered Roger.
'And who on earth, in their right mind, is going to give a lecture at this time on New Year's Eve?' enquired the constable sarcastically.
'My wife,' slurred Daniel grimly.

On New Year's Eve, Marilyn stood up in the local pub and said that it was time to get ready. At the stroke of midnight, she wanted every husband to be standing next to the one person who made his life worth living. Well, it was kind of embarrassing. As the clock struck - the bartender was almost crushed to death.

As in many homes on New Year's Day, Steve and his wife the annual conflict of which was more important - the football games on television, or the dinner itself. To keep peace, Steve ate dinner with the rest of the family, and even lingered for some pleasant after-dinner conversation, before retiring to the family room to turn on the game.
Several minutes later, his wife came downstairs and graciously even bought a cold drink for him. She smiled, kissed him on the cheek and asked what the score was. Steve told her it was the end of the third quarter and that the score was still nothing to nothing. "See?" she said, continuing to smile, "You didn't miss a thing."

Jemima was taking an afternoon nap on New Year's Eve before the festivities. After she woke up, she confided to Max, her husband, 'I just dreamed that you gave me a diamond ring for a New Year's present. What do you think it all means?'
'Aha, you'll know tonight,' answered Max smiling broadly.
At midnight, as the New Year was chiming, Max approached Jemima and handed her small package. Delighted and excited she opened it quickly. There in her hand rested a book entitled: 'The meaning of dreams'.

The New Year's Eve party had turned into a regular marathon with numerous guests coming and going.
At one point, a man knocked on the door, was greeted heartily although no one knew who he was, and was led to the bar in the basement.
He sat there happily for a couple of hours before a strange light dawned on his face. "You know," he confided to his host, "I wasn't even invited to this party. I just came over to tell you that some of your guests' cars are blocking my driveway."
The guest continued, "My wife's been sitting out in the car waiting for me to get them moved."