Hanukkah Jokes

Jokes are a part of life and without them, life will be really sad. They help reduce tension levels and keep the negative feelings away from a person. Being a 'festival of lights', Hanukkah also encourages people to be happy and celebrate the freedom from Syrian army. In this context, rib-tickling jokes prove to be very handy. They not only raise the endorphin level in your body, but also portray you as a positive and light hearted person. Want to celebrate your Chanukah with a big smile on your face? If yes, then go through the funny Hanukah jokes given below and laugh your heart out.

Jokes For Chanukah
My mother once gave me two sweaters for Hanukkah. The next time we visited, I made sure to wear one. As we entered her home, instead of the expected smile, she said, �What's the matter? You didn't like the other one?�

A woman goes to the post office to buy stamps for her Chanukah cards.
She says to the clerk, "May I have 50 Chanukah stamps?"
The clerk says, "What denomination?"
The woman says, "Oh my God. Has it come to this? Give me 6 Orthodox, 12 Conservative, and 32 Reform."

As the plane settled down at Ben Gurion airport, the voice of the Captain came on:
"Please remain seated with your seatbelt fastened until this plane is at a complete standstill and the seat belt signs have been turned off."
"To those of you standing in the aisles, we wish you a Happy Chanukah."
"To those who have remained in their seats, we wish you a Merry Christmas."

It was Hanukkah and the tiny village was in fear of not having any latkes because they had run out of flour.
Rudi, the rabbi, was called upon to help solve the problem.
He said, "Don't worry, you can substitute matzo meal for the flour and the latkes will be just as delicious!"
Shela looked to her husband and said, "Mortey...you think it'll work?" and Mortey said, "Of course! Everybody knows.........................
Rudolph, the Rab, knows grain dear!"

Top 10 Reasons to Like Hanukkah:
10. No roof damage from reindeer
9. Never a silent night when you're among your Jewish loved ones
8. If someone screws up on their gift, there are seven more days to correct it
7. Betting Hanukkah gelt (the chocholate coins) on candle races
6. You can use your fireplace
5. Naked spin-the-dreidel games
4. Fun waxy buildup on the menorah
3. No awkward explanations of virgin birth
2. Cheer optional
1. No Irving Berlin songs

Stan and John are walking to school one day and Stan is describing his new Playstation 2 to John.
"Where did you get that?" John asked
"I got it last night for Hanukkah," said Stan.
"What's Hanukkah?" John asked.
"It's a Jewish holiday, where we get presents every night for eight nights, to celebrate the festival of lights."
"Wow, I wish we got that!" John exclaimed.
The next day, on the way to school, John runs up to Stan, curious to see what he got. He sees that Stan is upset, "What's wrong? Where's your present from last night?" asks John.
Stan holds up a ball of crumpled wrapping paper, "It was leftovers night."