Boss Jokes

• The CEO of a large company was walking to the cafeteria along with two of his secretaries. Upon tripping on a bottle, a genie appeared and asked the threesome if they would like to each make a wish. The first secretary excitedly exclaimed, “I wish I was on a beach in a tropical island!” Immediately her wish was granted. The next secretary proclaimed, “I wish I was on a tour of France!” Immediately her wish too was granted. Being that it was now his turn to make a wish the CEO exclaimed “I want the two of them back in their offices right after lunch!”
• The new secretary was obviously finding the work a little more difficult than she had expected. On her third morning, the boss asked her for some important documents relating to the current sales figures. An hour later, he stormed into her office and demanded, 'Miss Hughes, haven't you found those figures yet?' 'Hold your horses!' protested the secretary. 'I haven't even found the filing cabinet yet!'
• 'My boy,' said the boss to his son, who was just starting out in the family firm, 'if you are to succeed in business, there are two things which are vitally important: honesty and foresight.'  'What exactly do you mean by honesty, Dad?' asked the lad.  'No matter what happens,' said his father, 'always keep your word once you have given it."  'And foresight?' said the young man.  'Never give your word in the first place.'
• Miss O'Connor," said the boss to his secretary, 'you have a very pleasant manner, you dress well, and you're very attractive.' 'Thank you, sir,' said his secretary, blushing modestly. 'That's all right,' said the boss. 'I just wanted to put you in a good mood before I take up the matter of your typing, your spelling and your punctuation’.
• The wife of a businessman who was frequently away from home was entertaining his best friend one evening. The lights were low, soft music was playing and everything was extremely cozy when suddenly the phone rang. The wife answered, turned pale and whispered, 'It's my husband! He's come back to town unexpectedly!' Her guest leaped to his feet in a panic, but the wife told him to wait. After a few moments, she hung up and said with a smile,’ it’s all right. My husband explained that he won't be home until late tonight. He's out playing poker with you!'
• The manager's personal assistant was consistently late for work. The trouble was, he had the greatest difficulty in getting up in the morning. He took the problem to his doctor, who prescribed some sleeping pills for him. He went to bed early that night and had his first really good night's sleep in weeks. He felt so good that he actually got to work early. In high spirits, he said to his boss, ' I didn't have any trouble at all in getting up this morning.' 'Great!' said his boss. 'But where were you yesterday?'